so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
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