so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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