I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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