i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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