So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
