I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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