On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
