your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
