There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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