I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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