How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
