dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
