Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
