Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
