saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
