Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
