we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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