dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
