Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
