Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
