tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
