found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
