absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i think i just lost a toe
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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