Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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