Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
