i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
