I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
