My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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