Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
