I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
