I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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