dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
