when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
