I want to have your abortion
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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