i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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