i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
