dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
