oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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