You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
