On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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