I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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