Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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