So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Someone stole a lamp last night.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
