Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
