hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
