Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
