We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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