Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
