:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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