In the future we'll all be gay
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
