It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
